


Absentee

by Animasta



Series: The Adventures will never end [1]
Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Gen, Parenthood, Polyamory, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16051187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animasta/pseuds/Animasta
Summary: More than anything, he fears... not being there. He knows what it's like for your parents to leave, and so many of his friends and family know that feeling too. So he visits a few of them, to make sure he's making the right decision.





	Absentee

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place roughly 20 A.G. (After Golb) and features Many Many Headcanons. This is just one story, but I kinda have a few dozen ideas for things to write post-canon, including an entire arc that would take place after Graybles 1000+ (and might involve some sort of dangerous comet), a story about Gibbon, and so many other things.

“Hyup!” He bends down to finally pick up the unconscious Banana and drape him across his shoulder. He had decided to wait, at first. Mostly to make sure he wasn’t attacked or some junk, though considering he was knocked out cold, right next to a broken tree, he seriously doubted it. Then he waited for the dude to wake up, because carrying him all the way back to his home would’ve been a pain. Unfortunately, he was pretty conked out.

Better check where this dude lives, first. Scrounging around the pocket right neck to his face, he finds an ID for the local… ah, he DOES live in Dogtown, right where the notice was. 20 minutes, tops. He’s still not used to Candy People living somewhere besides the Candy Kingdom or the Cake City-State. It’s definitely not a bad thing though! With all these crossover between cultures, it makes him feel all tingly inside. Even now, he lives next to a family originally from Wizard City. He’d been worried at first, knowing that sometimes Wizards could be a little… out there, but they were mostly Potioneers and Alchemists. Plus, they often shared food, and their lasagna was the illest... That third layer is mad indescribable. And he was so close to getting that recipe out of Virginia! Just three more victories in Card Wars...

Immediately after the… so called “Great Gum War”, he put down his sword for a pen. Temporarily of course. Negotiations between Aunt Lolly and Princess Bubblegum, then between Princess Bubblegum and Slime Kingdom, and then between Slime Kingdom and Wildberry Kingdom… He practically ran himself ragged solving minor disputes between the Kingdoms. It helped a lot when the Humans finally came over though; he was able to negotiate a parcel of land very quickly, over the course of one Princess Day. He personally considered it his greatest achievement, even if no one else did. 

“Finn! How’s it happening, dude?” As soon as he gets out of the forest and onto the road, he hears a mildly familiar voice, as well as the sound of small wheels on cement...

“Bronwyn!” He greets happily, “Dude, your hair!” She’s wearing a helmet, but he even through the holes he can see a striking pink.

“Yeah, ya like it?” She rubs her neck awkwardly, but seems to be in good spirits, “Man, one of the dudes at the skatepark insisted I do something shocking for my birthday. Said something about 21 being special, or something? Well, I wasn’t going to at first, but… Guess it just came to me.”

“It’s sick!” He offers his unburdened hand and she slaps it, “Hey, you recognize this Banana?” He tilts over slightly so that she can see his face.

“Oh yeah… Think that dude’s a gate guard. Dad put out the bulletin about him pretty recently, so I’m surprised you found him so quickly. Were you in the area for something?”

“Yeah… actually, I wanted to talk to your dad about something.” He sighs, “Any chance he’s free today?” Honestly, he’d only come to the area because he was between assignments. He was due in the Candy Kingdom in a week, and he just got finished with helping out Lemongrab a few days ago. Plus, it’s not like Dogtown was far away.

“He’s a little busy, but really… Viola can do all that work.” She rolls her eyes, “Mostly it’s ceremonial garbo. They’re throwing a party next weekend because the town’s population got up to 200, and he’s mostly just sitting around making sure the punch is the right kind, and the flowers are pretty enough. That’s more Viola’s biz anyway, so he’ll probably be happy for the distraction.”

“Man, Dogtown sure is growing.” At that, they finally get close enough to see the gate, “But how have you been, Bronwyn? Things still, uh, happening with that-”

“Ugh, no.” She shudders, “Glob, I have no idea what I was thinking. Maybe I got Magic Madness suddenly. He was so clingy! Like, I understand it’s hard to learn the language and not everyone speaks Korean, but you have to make an effort, right? You learned Korean, even though you barely ever visit the Crystal Dimension.”

“I’m pretty sure my accent’s all wacked out though.” He admits easily, “For some reason, BMO laughs at me when I talk with Lady.”

“Not to mention the constant singing. He has a great voice, don’t get me wrong, but you don’t have to sing every other sentence.” She says, “Good rid to that stupid squid.”

“Relationships are hard, man. I thought they’d get easier the older I got, right? Like, at some point I would just figure out what to say, and what not to-”

“Trev!” a voice says excitedly, and a stocky, short blue pup backflips down from the walls of his city, “Where have you been, buddy?!”

“Oh, right. Dude was out in yonder forest… Think he got bonked by a tree, so there shouldn’t be any tissues.” He slowly drops the sleeping Banana into the Pup’s waiting hands, “Uh, do I need to show you my I.D. or…”

“C’mon, we all know who you are.” The pup says with an excited smile, “Welcome to Dogtown, Finn Campbell.”

“Anyway.” As they enter the gate and they make their way to the mayoral townhouse, “Let me pose this one to you, Bronnie. HW calls me up and asks me to come by, in the middle of the week instead of on our usual weekends. Whatever, that’s cool, I’m free. I come by, all ready to spend some quality time with my favorite girl, but she just knocks me out!”

“Uh… did you forget something?” She asks, “Like, a anniversary date or something?”

“Nah, man, she knows less about that stuff than I do. So I wake up, and I’m tied to the bed, rig-”

“Dude, I don’t wanna hear about your tier climbing. You’re like my great-uncle or something.”

“Nononononono, it ain’t like that! I’m fully clothed and I still have my sword. Anyway, so I wake up, tied to the bed, and she’s just glaring at me. I think she expects me to answer, like I know what the heck is going on, but I just stay silent. Eventually, after like five minutes, she drops her bow in frustration, and starts untying me. She says that I didn’t check with her during our call, to make sure she was the real HW and not some impostor.”

“...I mean, that sounds pretty unreasonable, but with how your life can go sometimes…” She gives a carefree grin, “I don’t know if that’s so nuts for her to think.”

“Hmm. Jake said the same thing.” He rubs his chin thoughtfully, “But at some point, if it comes to that level of paranoia, I’ll have to spend time checking that everyone’s an impostor, and, like, it may just be less than a minute per person, but that time adds and adds and adds, and suddenly I’m old!”

“Dude, you’re kinda old already… Well, see ya.” As soon as they get to KKW’s door, she offers a wave and kicks off towards her own home.

“Dangit, I’m… well, bye.” He’s only 37! He’s not THAT old! Still, she did hit on one of his big worries lately. As he knocks on the door at the tall house, he can’t help but wonder if KKW’s advice would really help. He didn’t ask Jake specifically because he barely did any of it himself, and it’s not like KKW was that differen-

“Hello? Ah, Finn.” Kim Kil Whan looks as prim and proper as ever, but the bags under his eyes suggest how ragged he’s been run lately, “I was unaware we had plans to meet.”

“Nah, man. Ain’t like that. I was just, ya know, hoping to talk. Man to man styles.” He was a grown-ass man, and he still felt like an awkward teenager sometimes. Most of the time. Maybe everyone felt that way?

“Oh, well, of course. Please, come in.” He gestures towards his house, “Ah, don’t forget to-”

“Already done, dude!” He slipped off his shoes as soon as he stepped in the house, “C’mon, I’m not Jake.”

“True enough. Though I do admit that his rising escalation of footwear can be quite… enjoyable.” Kim Kil Whan looks like he’s trying not to grin and failing, “Last time he was here, he was wearing five pairs of slippers. On each foot.”

“Sounds like classic Jake, that screwhead.” He giggles as he sits down on the KKW’s floofy couch and tries not to sink all the way in, “Anyway, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk about.”

“Is father alright?” He sounds worried, but Finn just waves him off.

“I dunno, probably? It’s not like he does much adventuring these days, so I doubt he’ll have gotten into too much trouble. What I meant to ask is… well, about parenting, I guess, and you’re one of the best dads I know, so…”

“Oh? Well,” Kim Kil Whan actually blushes at that, and that look clashes awesomely with his tailored suit, “Thank you very much, but I can’t say it was all me, or even mostly me. My wife did most of the child rearing, obviously, as I was busy with the realty business most of the time.”

“You still saw your kids plenty often, and Bronwyn still really respects you. That’s not nothin’, and you know it.” He shrugs, “Dunno if that’s just because all the parents I know were dead, missing, or something in-between the two, but… Well, I guess it’s just been something I’ve thought about lately. Having a kid of my own…”

“...You haven’t? I seem to recall a few news segments about you on Ooo Public Radio…”

“Man, I’m pretty sure those kids were just messing around. Well, I hope so, otherwise I have some pretty gnarly missing memories!” He laughs at the memory, “According to mom, humans can’t really procreate with most of the people of Ooo. Something about our DNA being incompatible or something? Well, at least not without some major mystical hoo-doo.”

“Hmm… that sounds fairly sad, for some reason. Limiting, perhaps? I guess I came from three separate species, none of them even from Ooo, so I feel like that offers me perspective that others may not.

“I guess I should ask PB just in case. Anyway, that’s not really what I was asking about. You were really young when you had your kid. Well, age wise at least; I’m pretty sure you were born with more maturity than Jake. But I’m kinda… getting… older?” He sighs, “Like, mom said that for guys, it’s not as important, but human women would have trouble giving birth at my age. I dunno, I know what she wants from me, and it’s something I’ve thought about myself, but…”

“You worry about being an absentee father?” KKW guesses, and he just nods in response, “Understandable, I suppose. If you believe in that sort of thing, your direct lineage of parenting isn’t the greatest. Joshua was quite absent himself, no? And as much as I deeply respect your mother for the work she’s done around Ooo...”

“...She can be a little paranoid about safety, primarily my own.” He finishes, “Plus, she’s not afraid of playing in the mud if it’ll get me to stick closer to home. I mean, regardless of what she said about natural human bodies and ovulation and all of that junk, I wouldn’t be worrying so much if I wasn’t having the thoughts myself, right? I guess it’s just… Like, I’m pretty sure Huntress Wizard wouldn’t really want any part of that biz, even if we could.”

“Well, you have a human girlfriend, right? Julie, was it?”

“True, true, and I know she’s been tossin’ out some not-so-subtle hints about it.” He rolls his eyes fondly, “I guess it’s just… I am getting older, and all that junk, but it’s not like I’m about to retire from adventuring any time soon. Shouldn’t I wait until then?”

“What, when you’re 60?” Kim Kil Whan sounds a little dismissive, “Finn, you're not the type of person to stick in one place for long. You know that just as well as I do, and I’m fairly sure Julie, Minerva, AND Huntress Wizard know that as well. If you’re waiting for some sign from Glob himself to retire or something to that effect, I fear you may be waiting for a long time.”

“I get that, but… shouldn’t I be around? Humans grow up differently than Pups do. I wouldn’t want to hoist all that responsibility off on Julie,”

KKW interrupts sternly, “Why not? If she already accepts you for who you are, why wouldn’t she accept that as well? She already accepts that she’s not the only woman in your life. Besides, don’t the Minerva Bots do most of the child rearing already? I can’t say I’ve made my way over there in quite some time, but I distinctly remember hearing that from one of my employees.”

“I guess. I dunno… It feels wrong for some reason. Like, I’m bringing someone into this world knowing full well what missing parents does to a kid. It took some time for you and your siblings to fully respect Jake. Marcie still can’t trust Hunson, even after all the attempts he’s made to show he’s changed. Shouldn’t I know better than that?”

“For what it’s worth, we all DID respect him. Even when I bought the treehouse, I did so out of love… And misguided priorities, of course. It’s mostly that we had a hard time trusting him to be there for us. But it’s different for a human. You grow up differently. We all grow up differently, but one thing that doesn’t change between all of our species is, well, love.” He chuckles sardonically, “Perhaps this is just me growing softer as I age, but I truly believe you would be a wonderful father.”

“T...Thanks, man.” He gets up off the couch and wipes his wet eyes with his human hand, “Wait… you can’t be old, man. You’re like 16 years younger than me!”

“Well, perhaps it’s because I’ve started to desire a grandchild of my own. Not that I think it’ll happen any time soon.” He frowns slightly as he also gets up, “Bronwyn can’t seem to stay attached to anyone. Even Gibbon is too married to his work to even consider dating, let alone marriage.”

“Anyway, I should get goin’. Thanks for listening to me whine, man.” As he goes to leave, he sees pictures of Bronwyn, and he can’t help but wonder if he’ll have those memories of his kids. Even if she grew up really fast, he was still there to see it happen. But there was no guarantee he would be, even if he tried; Just because Ooo was safer nowadays, didn’t mean it was going to stay that way forever.

Would he miss those precious moments? Would he miss the birth of his child because he was having to repel a Goo Monster attack? Would his kid not even say ‘Da’ first, because he was never around? Like, he’d start saying complicated words like ‘Julie!’ or ‘Enchiridion’ cause he’s so absent? Would he miss their graduation because he was too busy solving the next great Ooo crisis? Well, if there was a crisis going on, they’d probably suspend the graduation, right?

Maybe he needed an extra opinion...

\------

“Bonnie, Marceline!” They were waiting for him at the gate, thankfully. Bonnie was wearing her purple, snug coat she used during the colder months, and Marcie was wearing The Sweater. For some reason, The Sweater always switched hands between visits. Last time he saw it, roughly 10 months ago, Bonnie was wearing it.

Actually, who had The Sweater in the first place? How old was it? Did it smell more like candy or endless red? Mysteries, mysteries!

“Hey Finn.” Bonnie says with a smile while he wraps his arms around both of them, “Did you make sure to bring back my Quantum Mondometer?”

“Yeah, yeah…” He lets them both go and slips off his backpack, “It wasn’t my fault though! Apparently, last time I was at Banana Man’s place, he stole it from my backpack and he really wanted to find out how it worked. I’m not the cleanest dude on the street, but I’m not so bad that I would lose something like that.”

“Didn’t you guys lose NEPTR for a year?” Marceline grinned from underneath her pink umbrella as Bonnie grabs her device, “Not to mention APTWE…”

“Hey, that was the Treehouse! I will have you know that I haven’t lost anything important in years!” He announces, “Well, except for my missing piece of that poster. And my entire stock of holy salt. And Shelby’s pony tail. And my spare arm. And Glob’s old helmet. And the Tuba of Everlasting Sorrow. And the Nightosphere swor- wait, Sweet P. has that one.” Nuts, she might be right after all.

“I love it when a case makes itself.” Marcie rolls her eyes, “But seriously, we should probably get going… The band is practicing tonight for our gig at the Hammersmith Oedon. You are going to be there, right?”

“Assuming that nothing else pops up, totally. Besides, this weekend is supposed to be the start of my vacation, so I will have nothing but free time! Well, assuming Julie and HW let me go…” He can feel the smug grin envelop his face and he can’t stop it, “Huntress Wizard is also on vacation from her forest, and before she could make any other plans I invited her over to my human crib.”

“Duddeeeeeeee.” Marceline nods and raises her fist, “There gonna be some, ya know… action?”

“Julie’s pretty excited at the idea. Heck, she’s even more stoked than I am!”

“Duuuuuuuude.” He finally bumps her floating fist, and they both giggle as Bonnie rolls her eyes… but there’s a certain look in her eyes that betrays her interest. Even after all this time, she’s still worried about him and his relationships.

Truthfully, when he started dating Julie, she was extremely worried about him and HW, and when Huntress Wizard blatantly said she was fine with it, she still wasn’t completely sure about the situation. Then again, to someone like PB, having one relationship is already hard enough, let alone two.

“You two… Finn, sometimes I miss how innocent you were as a twelve year old, and Marceline? Well, I’m sorry to say that if you haven’t matured now, there’s no helping you. You’ll always be a silly ding-dong.” She says mournfully, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Just as long as I’m YOUR silly ding-dong!” She leans into Bubblegum, and she rests her head on her shoulder, and like usual, any form of PDA makes Bonnie blush like a little teen.

“Anyway, what’d you need me for Princess?” He said with a carefree smile, “You didn’t need me and my sick Combat Arm, right? I’m only wearing my Diplomacy Arm…”

“Well… I heard from that group of Parasailing Troubadours that the lake’s molasses level was slightly lower than it had been in the past. Since they usually like to use this Lake every autumn, they probably know what they’re talking about. Besides, I haven’t done a survey of the lake in a while. I need to check acidity, buoyancy, chewiness, stickiness… And, well, we haven’t been to the Cabin in a while.” She shrugs, grabbing Marceline’s shoulder, “We were gonna spend a night out here cleaning up. That cool with you?”

“You want me… to face my sworn enemy… without preparation!?” He grabs his prosthetic arm, shaking, “My last battle with Mold was a grizz grazz scene man! I remember it like it was 5 months, 22 days, 7 hours and 19 minutes ago. There I was, in my basement, minding my own B, when I heard my T crying out for me. I turn to get that sweet D, when what do I C but… MOLD. Partially covered by the couch, but it was there. It was mocking me. It was taking all the stuff from my vault and laying it out just right there, right in the basement where BMO could’ve heard!”

“So are you in or not?” Bonnie interrupts his monologue and he huffs.

“You know it. Should me and Marcie start with the cabin while you do your whole… Lake stuff?” He wanted to get some input from Marceline anyway.

“We got it!” She nods decisively and tries to snake her arm around his shoulders, “Man, Finn, I miss when you were a plucky young adolescent. Your hugs got vicious!”

“YOU KNOW IT!” He grabs her instead and they rush into the cabin, laughing. As soon as he opens the door and they take stock of the scene (not really that bad and they’d probably be done in 2 hours, tops) he starts tapping his hand on the doorknob.

“Hey, Marcie? Uh, had a quick question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think… you’ll ever forgive Hunson?” He grabs the broom from the closet and starts sweeping absent-mindedly, “I mean, for abandoning you in Ooo for hundreds of years and all that junk.”

“Real ‘quick’ question, man.” She rolls her eyes as she grabs the duster, and she stays silent for a few seconds. As she floats around the top of the house and dusts the hard to reach places, she finally says, “It’s hard to say. Like, I dunno. What do you mean forgive? Will I ever give him father of the year or something? No, that’d probably go to Simon, but… I guess, if the chips were down and I needed a favor, I’d trust him enough that if I asked, he’d help.”

“I guess it’s a strange question… I’ve just been thinkin’ about that kinda stuff lately. Parenthood and junk. Like, I like my mom. A lot. She’s great, and she’s done so much for Ooo since they came back from Founders Island, but… some deep, dark part of me still doesn’t trust her not to try and digitize me again. Not to mention YT#)DM”

“@^TND)? Wait, or was it more like GH(@!Z?” Her eyes glaze over as she tries to repeat the name, and he just waves her off.

“Yeah, it’s been hard remembering how to say his name ever since he ascended. Bio dad, I guess?” He shrugs, “Like, I’m still not sure where he went or if where is even applicable. It’s entirely possible my life was only possible because He decided to make sure I had fresh water on that boat trip… Cause I’m pretty sure that breadstick wand didn’t create fresh water from the air or anything…”

“Hah. Guess it’s easy to have nice memories of mom, because she died before she had the chance to disappoint, right?” She sneezes, “Damn, this picture was a dust magnet.”

“So, like… I dunno. Was thinking about what I’d be like as a dad, I guess.”

“Oh! Dude, you’d be a great dad. No question.” She sounds so sure, and it makes him blush just as much as when KKW said it.

“But I dunno, I’m gonna be gone a lot of the time. It’s not like I’ll be able to just hang up my adventuring boots or anything, and with how dangerous things can get-”

“Are you going to be away from your kid for 10 whole years? You’re not going to be that dad who abandons your kid to go rule over the Nighosphere, or be the ruler of Founders Island. You’re going to be, at worst, someone who sees his kid once or twice a week, and you’ll give them all the love they can handle. Like, honestly, the simple fact that you’re worrying about it means you’re automatically better than Hunson, or #N^)ZP, or even Minerva.”

“Really? That… seems too easy. Worrying about a thing happening usually results in the thing happening, like when you’re trying to watch a clock to make it go faster, it just goes slower, right?”

“Dude. You’re worrying too much about imaginary problems.” That phrase rings familiar to him for some reason, “This striz hasn’t even happened yet! Like, I totally get it. I was kind of a wreck when I realized we would be ‘raising’ Pep as a child. It can be kinda scary, even if you have someone you trust helping you out. But you have to trust in them, you have to trust on your friends, and you have to trust in yourself. Yourself, most of all…”

“Do you think I’m just being a big dillweed about all this?”

“Who’s a big dillweed?” Bonnie announces from the doorway, “By the way, the lake IS a few inches shorter. It’s not a big issue now, but it does merit further investigation. I might have to put some surveillance back on the place…”

“Hmm.” Marcie doesn’t sound thrilled, and he can’t help but remember that time she reactivated her massive, Ooo wide surveillance machine. Especially learning that she had a camera inside Marceline’s former house. She bunked with him for a few days while Bonnie dealt with the second invasion by the Lizard People, and he did end up learning what Marcie’s favorite shade of red was.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to do it myself. I was going to hand it off to Dirt Beer Guy.” She assures, “But Finn, why are you a dillweed?”

“Ah, I’m just worrying about being a parent, but both Marcie and Kim Kil Whan were pretty certain I’d be alright.”

“Well, you’re not wrong to worry…” She shrugs slowly.

“Bonnie! Come on, don’t be a Catastrophe Carol.” Marceline says.

“It wasn’t based on that or anything! I’m just saying that one SHOULD worry about bringing new life into this world, regardless of how safe it is. It’s just smart, you know? Still, there’s worry and then there’s, well, catastrophizing. You don’t need to worry about Golb coming back and taking your baby, but you SHOULD worry about making sure they’re not choking on anything, or eating foods they have allergies to, or…”

“Those Minerva Bots will help out with that. Finn would be a good dad, right?”

“Absolutely.” She agrees easily, “And as someone who has created lifeforms of my own… Well, at least you’d only be creating single digits. And at least you would have the reasonable assumption they’d get smarter. But you’re smart, Finn. Not my kind of smart, or anything, but you have wisdom. Where it counts.” She motions to his chest, “You’re Ooo’s greatest hero, and you’ll be that boy or girl or whatever’s greatest hero too.”

“Plus, you can teach them how to sing the buff baby dance!” Marceline grins and his already burning face just gets that much warmer.

**Author's Note:**

> HEADCANON ONE: Kim Kil Whan created the Pup Kingdom. He DID. You won't convince me otherwise. Okay, technically, he creates Dogtown (because he would not create a kingdom, he's too much of a capitalist for that), but no doubt it's created before Gibbon becomes Ice Crazy.
> 
> HEADCANON TWO: Finn has girls all around the world. Okay, two, but whatever. Huntress Wizard and him have a Thing, to be sure, but she don't want her Hard Meat to get Eat, ya know. Plus, with the humans coming back to Ooo, they gotta be fiending for that ass. I can't imagine HW wanting a child, so if Finn wants a bebe he probably has to go to his other girl.
> 
> HEADCANON THREE: Jake and Finn stopped living together after CAWM. Jake moved in with Lady and Finn... lived with Simon, maybe, in Marceline's house? Idk. Something. They still bros, but it's not like they live close to Jermaine or anything, so why not?


End file.
